A Few Charms (Banner)

A Few Charms (Banner)
Showing posts with label Serenity bracelet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Serenity bracelet. Show all posts

Friday, 17 March 2017

Enjoy your cheer - it comes but once a year! A reflection on St. Patrick's Day

A few years ago I decided to start a new tradition with my family for St. Patrick's Day. I wanted to make traditional Irish soda bread - and my reward for my efforts would be the retired silver clover charm for my True Colours bracelet.

But on the evening of St. Patty's Day, my husband and I were arguing (God-only-knows what we were arguing about), and my son was whining and saying, "Can't we make something else?" (you know, the way they draaaaaaw out the end of the last worrrrrrrd). I just got annoyed and said, "Fine! Forget it!" and went to my room to sulk! I needed to give myself a time-out.

With my emotional state already ramped up by the argument, I was overwhelmed with my feelings of frustration with the kids, and on the verge of having a panic attack. At that time I hadn't really learned about distress tolerance or emotion regulation, but at least I removed myself from the situation until I could calm down. Not long after, my daughter came upstairs and said, "Mommy, can we still make the bread?" She always reminds me to be resilient. She must also be lucky because she found three four-leaf clover before she was ten!

Taylor has always been quite shy, and she is often cautious when given the chance to try something new. There have been so many times when I have said to her, "Don't miss out. You may not get this opportunity again." That night, on St. Patrick's Day, I needed to say this to myself.


When you struggle with depression or anxiety, it is often the things we say to ourselves, rather than the things others say or do, that creates the overwhelming emotions that we experience. So I said to myself, "Don't miss out on this opportunity to make these memories with the kids. St. Patrick's Day only comes once a year!" I knew that if I didn't do this I was going to be really mad at myself! I also didn't want to let this ruin the whole evening. So I pulled it together. The kids each made a loaf of soda bread (with just a little direction from me). And we had some tasty Irish soda bread with dinner, to celebrate our Irish heritage. Now it's an annual tradition and the clover charm is an important reminder.

On a four-leaf clover, according to tradition, the first leaf represents hope, the second represents faith, and the third, love - the fourth is for luck. But for me this little four-leaf clover will also represent something else. It will remind me that there are things that only happen once a year, or only once ever, so "Don't miss out." I try to remember to be in the moment. To make memories. And to cherish those "unforgettable moments."


Our traditional Irish soda bread

I just realized that the Pandora four-leaf clover charm looks a lot like the cross you score into the top of the round loaf of bread! To read the traditional reason for the cross you can check out my baking blog Leonard Family Favourites, and see what my kids scored into the top of their first loaves of bread. This year the charm has the added congratulations to myself for completing the blog post about Irish soda bread in time for St. Patrick's Day. I wanted to do it in memory of my late Uncle Gordon Bingham, because the reason I started the blog was to share favourite family recipes with Gordon's children, and my youngest cousins, Alyson and James Bingham. I was pleased, thanks to Aunt Edna, that I was able to include a photo of Gordon as a teenager with his family, not long after they left Ireland and immigrated to Australia. You'll find recipes for three versions of the bread and some photos of how we like to eat it. You won't believe how quick and easy it is to have warm homemade bread, fresh from the oven. Our picky eater Taylor even likes it!

A bracelet made just for St. Patrick's Day this year.
On my Essence bracelet the "prosperity" charm provides a focal point.
I have been reminded that not all of my readers know the names of every charm Pandora ever produced (as I do) so I thought I would list the names of the charms on this new bracelet I made just for St. Patrick's Day; clockwise from the top: birds of a feather; love, hope and faith; moss; clover; leaf spacer; green fascinating murano; tree of life; fireworks (or starburst) clip; wildflower murano; roses spacer; celebration; unicorn dangle; world peace; roses spacer; wildflower murano; fireworks clip; wise owl; green fascinating murano; leaf spacer; cathedral ceiling; family tree; sun, moon and stars; and elemental flow clip.

In case you're wondering why I have the unicorn dangle on my St. Patrick's Day bracelet, it's because of this favourite song from my childhood, sung by a Canadian group of Irish immigrants; they called themselves The Irish Rovers. Their first hit "The Unicorn" was from a song originally written and recorded by Shel Silverstein, author of the famous book "The Giving Tree." The Irish Rovers TV show was a staple in my home while I was growing up. When I think "Irish," this song about the unicorns always comes to mind.

You Tube video of "The Unicorn" by The Irish Rovers with lyrics
 
 

Related Posts:


A little girl and an egg remind me to celebrate - a story about an interesting observation about my daughter and the insight it taught me.

When your brain and body scream 911 - a story about my introduction to the idea of "wise mind"  and the "threat system," and the reason for intense emotions.

Will he always love me? My explanation of panic attacks - a story about the origins of schema-focused therapy. A rather long post but my explanation of panic attacks.

Managing emotions means learning to surf - a story about emotions coming from the fight-or-flight response, and managing intense emotions by learning to "ride the wave."

Sunday, 24 July 2016

Forever Paris Contest: the meaning of Pandora's box

Pandora recently held a contest on Instagram to win a limited-edition gold Eiffel Tower charm. Fans were asked to, "Share a photo and write why you are a true Pandora fan." I submitted a photo and write-up on five of the six days that the contest ran. And one of my submissions won! This was my entry for June 23.

For your information the contest details are at the end of the post.


The meaning of Pandora's box

 
Although most of us are familiar with the expression of "opening Pandora's box" and it's meaning, that doing so may have far-reaching and dire consequences, or release ills upon the world, what most people forget is the most important part of the story of Pandora and her box: the gift of hope.

In the ancient Greek myth about Prometheus and Pandora, Zeus orders a woman be made of clay. The gods then clothed her, adorned her with necklaces and finery (Pandora's jewellery), gave her beauty, gave her musical ability, and gave her speech. Because each of the Olympians had given her a gift, she was given the name Pandora, meaning "all gifted" or "all giving," and derived from a combination of Greek παν (pan) "all" and δωρον (doron) "gift". In my house, by the way, in my family, regardless of the occasion, all gift giving for me is Pandora. Just sayin'. In the story Zeus gives Pandora a box (a jar really) but tells her to never open it. Pandora could not understand why Zeus had given her a wedding gift but not allowed her to see it. She could not resist the temptation to peek into the box. I can totally relate to that, especially when it comes to Pandora gifts.

As Pandora's mind was consumed with thoughts about what must be kept inside her box, my mind is often consumed with thoughts about sharing sneak peeks on Instagram. Just as Pandora could think of nothing else but opening the box and unlocking its secrets, there are times when I can think of nothing else but designing Pandora bracelets. Unlike the mythical Pandora, however, opening MY Pandora box brings me nothing but joy.

Being overcome by temptation and curiosity, Pandora opened the box, as Zeus had expected she would. Out flew all the evils of the world: misery and poverty, death and disease, and sadness, sickness and strife. Pandora was able to close the box, but all that remained was Hope. When the world is full of pain and suffering, Hope makes all the difference in the world. And if you suffer from depression or anxiety, the one thing you need is Hope. That's why I'm a true Pandora fan.
 
There were days when the only thing that would get me out of bed, and in the shower, was the promise of a trip to my favourite Pandora store. There were weeks when I could barely put one foot in front of the other, but Pandora had me looking forward to the next promo or gift with purchase.  There were periods where I could not think beyond just getting through the day, and yet Pandora had me dreaming of one day getting retired charms from different countries. There were times when I was so overwhelmed I couldn't organize my thoughts enough to clean a room, but Pandora had me organizing an ever-evolving wishlist. There were times when I didn't know if I wanted to live until tomorrow, but Pandora had me believing I might still be alive come the end of August when the fall collection would be released. Pandora has given me so many things to look forward to.
 
There is always Hope. In the Pandora myth, Hope is meant to heal the wounds of the body and soul, and Pandora has certainly done that for me. When my life was consumed with sadness, grief, shame, fear and anger, Pandora gave me the gift of hope. I am a true Pandora fan.
 
P.S. Zeus actually sent Pandora as a punishment to men, and many a husband would tell you that their wife's obsession with Pandora jewellery plays the same role!


The Pandora's Box charm on my "Serenity" bracelet.
My updated two-tone "Serenity" bracelet with the chalcedony dangle, lavender cz and periwinkle star muranos.



Related Posts:

Forever Paris Contest: grieving the loss of my mom - the winning story and photo, now with more photos of my mom's trip to Paris and the surprise I discovered; my submission for June 21, 2016
 
Forever Paris Contest: using Pandora charms in my recovery - a story about the role Pandora has played with links to stories about some of the charms; my submission for June 22, 2016

Forever Paris Contest: Pandora fans are not Grinches - a story about collecting Pandora promo items and the community of Pandora collectors (with some Dr. Seuss inspired rhyming); my submission for June 24, 2016

Forever Paris Contest: Ode to Pandora - a silly poem I wrote about Pandora, now with a photo for each stanza as well as a photo of my whole collection to date; my submission for June 26, 2016


Here is Pandora's description of the contest:
"To celebrate summer in the city of love, Pandora has created a limited-edition 'Forever Paris' dangle charm, and from June 20 - 26 you can win it in our #PandoraForeverParisContest. Each piece is beautifully crafted from 14K gold and features two diamonds.
 
"Because they are true collector's items, only 500 have been produced. Each dangle charm is engraved with a unique number (from 1-500) and they are only sold in selected stores in France but we have kept 10 for you!" 
 
Contest rules were available on Pandora.net.
The charm was valued at 599 € (approximately $860 CDN/$665 USD)

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Drop and give me 20 hugs!

Apparently my ankle is pissed off! According to the physiotherapist I saw yesterday. Well, I'm pissed off too!

I hurt my foot when we were on vacation the first week of April. Since then I kept hoping that if I just rested it the pain would go away. It didn't! Stupid foot!

elegant embrace spacers and T-shirt charm
I had a very bad ankle sprain when I was in university playing on the varsity volleyball team (over 30 years ago). I tore the ligament that holds the bottom of the tibia and fibula together (the two bones in the lower leg) and tore the membrane between the two bones. At the time, the athletic therapist said I should rest (a four-letter word to an athlete) because I was at risk of developing compartment syndrome - very bad swelling in the group of muscles in the shin, limiting blood flow - and I could develop drop foot. But I was a teenager, and I was - in my mind at least - invincible, so I said, "Tape me up Coach! I'm going in!" Especially since I was playing for my province in the Canada Games!

They also warned me that I would most likely develop osteoarthritis or some other foot problem by the time I was forty. Sure enough, right at forty I had mechanical problems with my foot, had a lot of physio, and wore an ankle brace, especially if I was walking on uneven surfaces.

Now that I am almost fifty, those two leg bones are splaying apart and causing my ankle bone to get stuck. Whenever I stand or walk my ankle locks. And it is extremely painful! And I am pissed!

But calling my foot "Stupid" is not going to heal it. And admittedly I have worse names I use for this as well as various other body parts that I'm not happy with. I'll do physio, and I will learn how to tape it. Maybe I'll try underwater exercise equipment, or the latest gravity-free treadmill. Or maybe I'll have to have a big ole screw put in to hold those two bones together.

But right now I need that ankle to calm down - and I need to stop pissing it off! I need to be gentle on it, and treat it with loving kindness.

Now there's a concept! Maybe I could try treating mySELF with loving kindness! I am trying to come to terms with the idea that "I can't HATE myself to health." I've tried. Believe me, I've tried hating. It doesn't work. Beating myself up just leads to annoyance, aggravation, frustration, impatience... well, you get the idea!
 
So I thought I'd try something different - I will LOVE myself to health. It's a tough concept. But I have a charm for that! The T-shirt charm with the gold heart was one of the first charms I bought over two years ago at the beginning of my recovery. And it represents one of the most important of my affirmations: "I love and accept myself, as I am."

Pssst! I don't really but I am going to say it to myself, over and over. I will "fake it til I make it."

So what does that love and acceptance mean?

First of all, it means acknowledging the current situation, rather than looking the other way and hoping that this will go away if I ignore it long enough - aka "sticking your head in the sand", something that I am quite skilled at!  Someone suggested this is happening because I need to learn this and this injury is forcing me to accept the situation and learn to take better care of myself. Another person suggested that, like someone who is in a wheelchair, I may need to learn that I'm still valuable, even if I can't use my legs.

Secondly, acceptance means being honest with myself and accepting the fact that I am overweight and out of shape. It's not a judgement, it's just a fact. I have to find a way to exercise that doesn't involve being on my feet or bending my ankle. Chair aerobics anyone?

So my goal (in addition to not pissing off my ankle) is to try to "embrace" myself with compassion by practicing a special kind of meditation. After two weeks of daily practice I will reward myself with the "elegant embrace" spacers for my lavender-periwinkle "Serenity" bracelet.


Serendipitously, my brother came to visit last week to attend a two-day workshop on Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT). He explained the concept and it seemed to resonate with me, given my history of anxiety and negative self-talk. After seeing the physio yesterday I realized I need to learn how to do this. I'm going to practice. Because I suck at being compassionate! I should say I suck at being compassionate with myself.... I shouldn't say "I suck"... I shouldn't say "should"... Clearly I need to work on this!

I need to stop should-ing all over myself!

I'll let you know how I do.

If you are interested in learning more, or trying the practice yourself, please click on the link below.
Compassionate Mind Training podcast with guided meditation and imagery exercises

Monday, 12 May 2014

Finding motivation and building habits

mock orange blossoms
Fast forward two years from my last post and the Wildflower Walk has become an essential part of trying to stay healthy - in mind AND body. After returning home from the vacation when I started the wildflower walks (now called WW in my agenda) I decided that my objective would be to simply walk around the block - it's about half a kilometre.  It's important in setting goals that they feel achievable and a city block definitely felt do-able. I was fairly consistent with the walks, but I really had to push myself to get out the door, which I think is pretty typical of anyone trying to work on a program of exercise or lifestyle change.
Shortly after I started my walks I noticed a fabulous perfume at one point on my walk and realized it was coming from a tree in a neighbour's front yard - a tree I was not familiar with. The next time I went, I took my camera so I could post a photo of the blossoms on Facebook and ask friends if they knew what it was. The answer: mock orange - with a beautiful aroma that I now look forward to every spring!

After that I took my camera with me every time I went for a walk, and kept taking photos of flowers I didn't recognize - and quizzing people. Eventually I just started looking forward to taking photos of flowers. I would go early in the morning before it was too hot for me, and when there was softer morning light for photos. When I didn't feel like walking I was still very curious about what flowers might be in bloom that day and THAT got me out the door!
 
yellow tiger lilies
purple cone flowers
I kept up my daily walks throughout the fall leading up to the one year anniversary of my recovery from my eating disorder in December 2012. I even walked through the winter when there were no flowers left!  I actually got to the point where an early morning WW was a habit. I no longer wondered, "Am I going to have a chance to go for a walk today?" and it became deciding, "WHEN will I go for a walk?" to eventually not even wondering or deciding, just doing it. It was so automatic that when my alarm went off I just got up, went downstairs, put on my coat and headed out the door. One morning when I did this I happened to look at the clock on the stove and it said 4 am or some time ridiculously early! Turns out someone in Portugal (in a different time zone!) had commented on a post on Facebook and the phone had beeped to notify me! I obviously mistook that for my morning alarm, and like Pavlov's dog I just responded as I was conditioned to do! After realizing the un-Godly hour I just walked back upstairs and laid back down. In the morning my husband Mike was a little surprised to see me facedown in bed, dressed - and still in my winter boots!

By the way, I quickly learned how to turn off the notifications on my phone and Facebook account!

These retired gold-tipped flowers (on either side of the dangle) on my "Serenity" bracelet were the first charms I bought just because I thought they were so beautiful! But they have a very important job of reminding me that there are always moments to "find beauty every day!"