On the seventh day of Christmas... winter wonderland clip

On the seventh day of Christmas Pandora gave to me... the winter wonderland clip... Santa's elves and toys... the tree of lights... Santa's stocking charm... a pair of silver bells... a polar bear charm... and a clear cz pavé lights charm.

In March 2012, after about three months of recovery from my eating disorder, I started doing a daily meditative walk. After the first week I rewarded myself with the "Wildflower Walk" charm, and called those outings my "Wildflower Walks." You can read more about this in my very first blog post entitled  Walk this way... in the moment.

And while I was on these walks, I started taking photos of flowers in the gardens in my neighbourhood. I've always done a lot of photography but usually scenery or travel, and then of course I took LOTS of pictures of my twins. But that was the first time I really took pictures of flowers. Walking went from being something I forced myself to do, to something I began to look forward to - I wanted to see what was in bloom each day as the weeks and months passed. And I posted a photo on Facebook every day. I started to see that taking these photos was good for my soul - trying to "find beauty every day."

You can see my photos in these Facebook albums Wildflower Walks 2012 Wildflower Walks 2013

 

Of course, as will happen, summer turned to fall. And I kept up with my walk every day that fall. Even when I was teaching four days a week I got up early and went for a walk - quite a feat considering how much I am NOT a morning person! And then fall turned to winter. And I realized that I couldn't really take pictures and put them in an album called "Wildflower Walk" so, on December 21, 2012, the first day of winter, I started a new album titled "Walking in a Winter Wonderland."

My goal for that winter of 2013 was to start walking mid-day, when we have some sun, and take photos over the winter - photos of things that I enjoy about winter, things that make me happy, things that help me "Beat the Winter Blues." One year later Pandora came out with a snowflake clip (in their winter collection of 2013) and they called it, "Winter Wonderland." Coincidence? Or serendipity?

And then there was last winter, the winter of 2014. Quite literally the longest winter in the past twenty years! When the end of February rolled around and I started to despair that winter would never end, I decided I needed a new project. There are two things that are important for my mental health; two things that I was NOT doing consistently last winter; and they are: 1. pursuing my passion for photography and 2. going for my daily meditative walk. So I resurrected "Walking in a Winter Wonderland."

At that time when I was bemoaning the length of our winter, my fellow Ottawa citizen (and Pandora fan) Florina reminded me of my affirmation to "find beauty every day." Because that is part of what makes my morning walk a "mindfulness meditation" - paying attention to, being mindful of, my surroundings - the light, the shadows, the shapes, the textures and the colours.

I decided I needed to accept the fact that winter was not over yet, and the fact in this part of the country we were likely to have fresh snow into April! So my goal was to go "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" and "find beauty every day" - and post a photo each day for 30 days.

I thought a Pandora reward might be something to look forward to and motivate me to get back into this routine - and survive another month with old man winter. And what could be more appropriate than the "Winter Wonderland" clip? I found some pretty scenes over the next month, but I was oh so happy to see these crocuses poke through the snow.

 

Finding beauty every day March 2014

Getting my priorities straight!

What is your number one priority? When I do workshops for women, whether it's on strength-training or making lifestyle changes, I always ask them to list their top three priorities. Take a minute and think about it. What are your top three priorities? Maybe write them down.

If you are like most people, particularly most women, your list included your family, your kids if you have any, your work or career, maybe your marriage, or even your community or volunteer work. These are the things we are committed to. But nobody ever says their health. Or if they do say it, they certainly don't put it at the top of the list.

But think about it, where would you be without your health? Could you do those things that you are committed to? Can you take good care of your children? Can you be an equal partner in your marriage? Or make a difference in your work or community? Without your health you cannot take care of the people in your life. Your health needs to be your #1 priority!

This is hard for me! As a woman, and a mother, but also because of my upbringing, I find it very hard to make myself, and my health, a priority. And I need constant reminding! So my husband bought this #1 blue ribbon charm for me early in my recovery and I wore it on my teal and turquoise "Recovery" bracelet to remind me that "My health is my number one priority!"

My husband added, by the way, that in addition to my affirmation about my health he also wanted me to know that I am a #1 mom and a #1 wife! Yes, he's a keeper! You can see from the photo how well "loved" this charm is. It is now the centrepiece of My Number One Son bracelet, because I always tell my (one and only) son that he is "my favourite boy in the whole wide world."

This reminds me of when I was breastfeeding my twins - yes, both at the same time, in football hold. I knew that if I didn't eat enough or drink enough that I would not produce enough breast milk, that I literally could not feed my children! I remember one night I felt dehydrated but I couldn't hold a water bottle, since I was holding two little heads to my breasts. So I jerry-rigged my water bottle so that it hung around my neck and I could drink from a straw! Are you picturing it? Oh, gosh, so sorry! But it did work! In fact I produced so much milk they called me the Dairy Queen!

But think about it. What does the flight attendant tell you during your inflight safety instructions? About the oxygen masks? If you are travelling with a dependent, please place the mask on yourself before assisting your dependent. Whether it's an elderly person or a child, you need to put the mask on yourself first! You can not help your dependents if you are not breathing!

When I went back to teaching four days a week in the fall of 2012 I got up early to go for a Wildflower Walk and have a shower before everyone else was moving. I've heard women recommend this over the years - taking time for themselves FIRST! But I am SO not a morning person! I could never envision it working for me! But I came to see that mommy was much happier, more patient, and less irritable if I filled my bucket first. There needs to be a Pandora charm for "fill my bucket first", but for now there's the #1 blue ribbon. Taking those early morning walks, often in the dark during the Fall and Winter here in Canada, were very meditative. I only walked one city block but I actually started to notice that by the time I rounded the fourth corner of the block I would have a big sigh, and feel calmer, feeling the tension leave my body. I think that is what is supposed to happen when you meditate and with practice it becomes easier to draw upon that calmness when needed. I'm still working on that last part!

Wildflower Walk charm to the left of the mother dangle

For Mother's Day last weekend, I re-read a book that my mother had written about her journey living with blindness in the latter third of her life. In reading that, I discovered that my mom had been a walker! During the time she was losing her sight and dealing with the uncertainty of her future, she said she got rid of her frustration by walking. Apparently when she was working, she went for a walk every morning, taking the time for herself every day before the mad rush to get us and herself off to school and work. Of course I was very likely still in bed and had never thought about what she might be doing while I was still sawing logs. I'm so glad to know about this, even after all these years. I am pleased to know that she took that time for herself. That makes her a good role model for me as a parent, and a woman, and I will pass on to my daughter that it is important to take time for yourself, maybe even with meditative walks, when you are one day a wife and mother. So the Wildflower Walk charm now resides on my pink and red Flower Power bracelet that includes charms about the lessons, like these, that I learned from my mother, and hope to pass on to my daughter.

Do you take time for yourself? Do you fill your bucket first? I'm wondering if, just maybe, there might be a hole in my bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza. But I am going to try to get up a little earlier this week. Anyone care to join me?

Finding motivation and building habits

mock orange blossoms

Fast forward two years from my last post and the Wildflower Walk has become an essential part of trying to stay healthy - in mind AND body. After returning home from the vacation when I started the wildflower walks (now called WW in my agenda) I decided that my objective would be to simply walk around the block - it's about half a kilometre.  It's important in setting goals that they feel achievable and a city block definitely felt do-able. I was fairly consistent with the walks, but I really had to push myself to get out the door, which I think is pretty typical of anyone trying to work on a program of exercise or lifestyle change.

Shortly after I started my walks I noticed a fabulous perfume at one point on my walk and realized it was coming from a tree in a neighbour's front yard - a tree I was not familiar with. The next time I went, I took my camera so I could post a photo of the blossoms on Facebook and ask friends if they knew what it was. The answer: mock orange - with a beautiful aroma that I now look forward to every spring!

After that I took my camera with me every time I went for a walk, and kept taking photos of flowers I didn't recognize - and quizzing people. Eventually I just started looking forward to taking photos of flowers. I would go early in the morning before it was too hot for me, and when there was softer morning light for photos. When I didn't feel like walking I was still very curious about what flowers might be in bloom that day and THAT got me out the door!
 

yellow tiger lilies

purple cone flowers

I kept up my daily walks throughout the fall leading up to the one year anniversary of my recovery from my eating disorder in December 2012. I even walked through the winter when there were no flowers left!  I actually got to the point where an early morning WW was a habit. I no longer wondered, "Am I going to have a chance to go for a walk today?" and it became deciding, "WHEN will I go for a walk?" to eventually not even wondering or deciding, just doing it. It was so automatic that when my alarm went off I just got up, went downstairs, put on my coat and headed out the door. One morning when I did this I happened to look at the clock on the stove and it said 4 am or some time ridiculously early! Turns out someone in Portugal (in a different time zone!) had commented on a post on Facebook and the phone had beeped to notify me! I obviously mistook that for my morning alarm, and like Pavlov's dog I just responded as I was conditioned to do! After realizing the un-Godly hour I just walked back upstairs and laid back down. In the morning my husband Mike was a little surprised to see me facedown in bed, dressed - and still in my winter boots!

By the way, I quickly learned how to turn off the notifications on my phone and Facebook account!

These retired gold-tipped flowers (on either side of the dangle) on my "Serenity" bracelet were the first charms I bought just because I thought they were so beautiful! But they have a very important job of reminding me that there are always moments to "find beauty every day!"

Walk this way - in the moment

This is a re-post: text and photo from April 2012

My "Flower Power" bracelet

Having recognized that I have an eating disorder, I have done lots of work on my issues and have now been symptom-free for a little over 4 months - no bingeing, purging, or restricting. One of the things that has made a difference for me is having goals and rewards. When setting goals they say you should have SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reward-based, and Timed. So I have set weekly goals and my reward has been Pandora charms for my charm bracelet - something that I am VERY motivated to achieve.
 

This past week my goal was to go for a walk every day. I am having trouble with my left knee, and with physio the pain had decreased, and so the physio told me to start walking, and do squats and side-lying leg raises. Our family was away for a week's vacation at our time-share so it was a good time to make some charges in my habits without all the stress of school, household chores, etc. The goal was to go outside for a walk every day (Specific), didn't matter how long or how fast, just go for a walk (Measurable), which seemed pretty realistic (Attainable) since I had two ten-year-olds who don't like to sit still for very long, and at the end of one week (Timed) I would get a charm (Reward-based).

The Pandora charm that I chose is called "Wildflower Walk" (second from the right in the photo). A wildflower walk to me signifies a walk that is not a power walk, or even a brisk walk, just a walk through the wildflowers. Of course given that it was the end of March, there were no wildflowers through which to walk, but still lots to see.  

I wanted to think of walking as a meditative process. No measuring of heart rates or speed or distance. To just be present and mindful of my surroundings, and as was the case last week, to also be present and mindful of those I was with, usually my twins.

In her book The Artist's Way, and the books following that, Julia Cameron suggests walking as one of her basic tools in her spiritual path of creativity. She says, "Walking, the simplest of tools, is among the most profound," and that when we walk, "we experience 'conscious contact' with a power greater than ourselves."

Well, we walked the path along the water's edge, with the kids stopping to throw rocks onto the thin sheets of ice on the lake, pick up sticks, or climb some rocks. We walked into town to the convenience store and the post office.  We walked to the tennis court so the kids could bat some balls around. We walked some roads just to see where they went. Sometimes the kids rode their scooters, sometimes they ran ahead, sometimes we walked hand-in-hand. But every day we got out and walked.

Cameron suggests that when walking, "Almost without noticing it, we become engaged with a world larger than ourselves and our concerns." Well, we noticed the temperature. We noticed the wind. We noticed the birds that had returned. We noticed the sound of the wind in the tall pine trees.  We noticed the way the rain had carved out the sand at the beach. The walking was, as Cameron describes it, "an exercise in heightened and intensified spiritual listening."
 

Now that I am back in the city there will not be many fields of wildflowers - although we do get quite a collection of weeds in our garden. But the crocuses are poking out their brave heads, and the daffodils are inching their way up. So my daily walks will allow me to observe the not-so-wild flowers of my neighbours' gardens. Somehow going for a daily "wildflower walk" - as I will continue to call them - is so much more appealing than just "going for a walk." Maybe that is what Cameron means when she says we walk to "shift" our consciousness.

Cameron promises that, "As casual as a walk may seem, profound wisdom can be its byproduct." Spiritual seekers have always walked - whether pilgrimages, walkabouts, or vision quests. St. Augustine said, "It is solved by walking." Whatever "it" is, I will continue my "wildflower walk" to help mend the mind/body split and get out of my head and into my body. And maybe fix-up my knee and get ready for tennis.

Updated: these links will take you to the Facebook photo albums of flowers I took on my Wildflower Walks 2012 and Wildflower Walks 2013

Related Posts:

Finding motivation and building habits - a story about how the Wildflower Walks turned into finding a new passion in photographing flowers and discovering a significant new affirmation - and the charm that represents it

Winter Wonderland - a story about how my "Wildflower Walks" turned into "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" and how that helped me Beat the Winter Blues - and the charm that represents it.

Can you see what's there? It's a wonderland - a story about how looking around you and seeing beauty can help in the recovery from food issues, as well as healing personally and spiritually; I've also included a short piece about my mother's battle with Alzheimer's - and the charm that represents it.