First Fifteen and Twelve for 2020

Are you ready to guess what the rest of the anniversary charms will be? Will they be from the "First Fifteen" charms? Read on to see the official list of the "First Fifteen" charms released by Pandora. See the first catalogues. See my predictions for 2020. And see a sneak peak of the engraved anniversary charm for April.

The engraved strawberry and frog (with the originals)
on a box with the Pandora crown symbol

Before I move on, let me acknowledge that we are in the midst of a global crisis and, by comparison, charms are not that important. But we all need to do the things that make us happy and keep us sane. So I hope my stories are a distraction from the world beyond your front door, and bring you a few moments of joy. But the biggest contribution I can make during this pandemic is to share my stories of my recovery from depression, panic disorder, and an eating disorder. So at the end of this story I will ask you to please let me know what you're struggling with because I may be able to tell a tale that will help.

So now, back to our regularly scheduled blog post...

20th Anniversary Classics

Pandora is celebrating the 20th anniversary of the launch of their unique threaded bracelet. To mark this occasion they are releasing a new series of limited edition charms, one each month in 2020. The charms in the 20th Anniversary Collection will be "classics" that are "re-imagined" and engraved with a special 20-year hallmark using the iconic Pandora crown symbol over the number 20.

The first charm released in this series was a strawberry. Pandora asked fans "Did you know it was Pandora's fist-ever charm?" A simple silver piece, Pandora's iconic strawberry charm is one of its most-recognized charms. Take a look at this cute video that accompanied the release of the.strawberry in January.

The second charm, released in February, was the frog. Pandora explained that "the playful little frog was a favourite charm upon its original release." I might have dismantled my daughter's Pandora bracelet to take a picture with the original frog. The new frog is a little less stout than his elder, has higher googly eyes, and a different curve to his mouth. Pandora's Instagram video just happens to show what happens when you kiss that frog's mouth.

Check out this Instagram video to see the lovely bee that was just released on the 20th of March. I was not lucky enough to grab it when it was posted on the Pandora website. By the time it finally popped up I didn't even get it in my shopping basket before it was sold out. I am hoping there are a few bees sitting in my near-by concept store waiting for the start of the warm weather, or the end of the coronavirus lock-down, whichever comes first.

I find it interesting to see the differences between the original charms and the new releases. You'll have to wait for my story about the strawberry but the differences are quite evident between the new bee charm and the queen bee that inspired it. Most notable is the redesigned crown. Most Pandora collectors will tell you that the crowns on charms can leave quite significant dents in your wrist, so somebody has been paying attention.

I asked my Australian friend Vicky if I could use her photo of the new silver bee with her two-tone and gold queen bee. Check out her Instagram for photos of her gold and white gold bracelets and lots of classic Pandora rings.

@vickakki

Pandora is about telling stories

One of my favourite things about this 20th Anniversary collection is that Pandora is returning to their motto of telling stories, saying "These charms celebrate 20 years of telling your stories with Pandora." In the last few years Pandora moved away from this idea with their "#DO" campaign, "What do you love?" strategy, and new collections from Disney, the "Reflections" concept, and most recently the Pandora "Me" line. But my journey with Pandora started in 2011 with me earning charms in my recovery from an eating disorder and depression. I started writing "stories" and posting them on the main Pandora Facebook page. With encouragement from my Pandora friends, I started this blog.

This year, I decided I was going to get back to writing stories on my blog. It's been on my mind for some time, and I've been sharing quotes in a Facebook album about why it's important to "share your story." But what would be my reward, my incentive?

And then, ta da, Pandora came to the rescue with a series of 12 charms in 2020. This new marketing strategy hearkens back to the days when Pandora was all about "Unforgettable Moments." And that has motivated me to get back to telling stories about my Pandora charms. Let's see if I can do one story a month to earn the 20th anniversary charms.

The "First Fifteen"

From time to time we see this question pop up on the Pandora Facebook pages: What were Pandora's first charms? The introduction of the new 20th Anniversary charms has renewed the interest in this. Well, here's the answer. Directly from Pandora Headquarters. A little over 5 years ago a number of us avid Pandora fans started asking Pandora corporate to confirm what were the first charms that Pandora made. Turns out there were 15. Pandora called them the "First Fifteen." I've kept the list on my phone ever since, but you can also see the list on this Charms Addict blog post from 2014.

The "First Fifteen." See names and codes below

Official "First Fifteen"

1. 750117 gold cluster
2. 790111 ladybug
3. 790112 strawberry
4. 790113 fish (aka sideways fish)
5. 790114 snail (aka Nautilus)
6. 790115 house
7. 790116 dice
8. 790117 silver cluster
9. 790119 faith hope and charity/love
10. 790122 king's crown
11. 790125 gold-tipped flower spacer
12. 790127GR silver eye (garnet)
13. 790127P silver eye (peridot)
14. 790128 sun moon and stars
15. 790132P bevelled pearl dangle

I only have nine of the First Fifteen

It turns out Pandora didn't have very good archives. The original list that Pandora provided indicated that there was a ladybug with the code 79111. (Pandora's labelling of their charms originally was just 79 for silver; the zero added to 790 later. They use 750 for gold charms.) They referred to this 111 charm as the "old" ladybug with the "new" ladybug having the code 790135. But there was no picture of this "old" ladybug. After some searching, and much speculation, Pandora concluded that the "old" ladybug may have been designed but never actually produced. So the "new" ladybug 790135 is now considered part of the "First Fifteen."

"First Fifteen" by Leann Wu of Charms Addict blog

You will frequently see bracelets that are referred to as the "First Fifteen" but most of them have more charms than just the fifteen. The only bracelet I've found that is exclusively "First Fifteen" is from Leann's post on the Charms Addict blog. Although they were not in Pandora's original list of 15, Leann has added the plain clips to cover the threads. Leann has graciously allowed me to share this photo of her bracelet. So the charms are, starting at the clasp at the top and going clockwise: ladybug, strawberry, king's crown, sideways fish, garnet eye, plain clip, house, sun moon and stars, bevelled pearl dangle, gold cluster, snail, plain clip, peridot eye, gold-tipped flower spacer, faith hope and charity, silver cluster, and dice.

Another collector Celia started a "First Fifteen" bracelet and then discovered people were including different charms on their "First Fifteen" bracelets. So she ended up with more charms than she could fit on her bracelet. Hopefully the list above will help clarify which charms are in fact from the "First Fifteen," but she definitely has some of Pandora's earliest charms on her bracelet, starting at the clasp at the top and going clockwise: peridot eye, ladybug, heart with cz, silver cluster, strawberry, king's crown, DNA, dice, gold-tipped flower spacer, snail, confetti, sun moon and stars, sideways elephant, house, circles, heart, faith hope and charity, rose leaf, bear head, garnet eye, sideways fish, bevelled pearl dangle, and the loose charms in the middle are gold bubbles spacer, gold graduation cap dangle, gold cluster and gold flower clip.

Classic Pandora

Of course there are a number of charms that were released after the "First Fifteen" but still in the first few years. To create this list I identified early charms by their codes and included charms from Pandora's earliest two catalogues (pictures below). The codes for the frog and the queen bee indicate that they were not particularly early charms - or in those first catalogues. But I have added them to this collection because they have already been released as part of the engraved 20th Anniversary Classic Collection. In this screenshot you can see the names and codes of all of Pandora's earliest charms. To prevent confusion with the "First Fifteen" let's call this whole group "Classic Pandora." 

Classic Pandora charms, clips and spacers

Spacers

You may notice in the stock photos above that there are a number of spacers. There were quite a few spacers in the first catalogues Pandora produced. These are my spacers (below) from the "Classic Pandora." From left to right: two-tone gold-tipped flower spacers, large roses spacer (originally produced in gold), crisscross spacer, candy cane spacer, small roses spacers, flat spacers, smooth spacers, big bubbles spacers, small bubbles spacers, line spacers, and ridged spacers. In the Photo Gallery at the very bottom of this post you can see how I've used all of these spacers in my completed bracelets. If you go to the web version of this blog (as opposed to the mobile version) you can scroll to the bottom and see all 21 of my bracelets.

My collection of the "Classic Pandora" spacers

Birthstone Dangles
In addition to the first pieces above, Pandora introduced their first collection of birthstone charms in their second catalogue. These are the charms (below), starting from the top left: garnet for January, amethyst for February, aquamarine for March, quartz for April, chrysophase for May, freshwater pearl for June, carnelian for July, peridot for August, coral (and sapphire) for September, tourmaline for October, amber for November, and lapis lazuli for December. Note that there are two birthstones for September. I have the coral dangle which looked great in the stock photo but it has darkened over time so I suspect that is why they switched to sapphire.

Pandora's First Catalogues
In our discussions with Pandora in 2014 they provided images of their first two catalogues. As I mentioned, they did not have thorough records, and these catalogues have no dates, so speculation was that they were released between the years 2000 and 2002.

First catalogue front and back

First catalogue pages 2 and 3

Charms from first catalogue starting at top left:
circles (also in pink CZ), gold cluster, king's crown, silver eye (garnet), silver cluster, bevelled pearl dangle, ladybug, heart (pink cz), faith hope and charity/love, gold bubble spacer, dice, house, plain clip, heart (referred to as the "big smooth heart"), elephant (referred to as the "sideways elephant"), star dangle, curls and dots (or confetti), strawberry, sun moon and stars, gold-tipped flower spacer, gold flower clip (buttercup clip), fish (we tend to refer to this as the "sideways fish"), bear head, silver DNA

Charms on bracelet starting at the clasp going clockwise:
gold cluster, bubbles spacer, garnet eye, smooth spacer, bevelled pearl dangle, smooth spacer, gold bubbles spacer, sun moon and stars, bubbles spacer, king's crown, gold flat spacer, circles, ridged spacer, sideways elephant, smooth spacer, gold-tipped flower spacer

I thought I'd try to replicate the bracelet in the first catalogue.
(with a few substitutions)

Charms on my bracelet (above) starting at the clasp going clockwise:
row with dots, small bubbles spacer, peridot eye, flat spacer, birthstone dangle  chrysophase (May), smooth spacer, large bubbles spacer, sun moon and stars, large bubbles spacer, mushroom, flat spacer, circles (clear cz), ridged spacer, sideways fish, smooth spacer, gold-tipped flower

Second catalogue

Charms on necklace starting at top left:
moon, flat spacer, ring, plain clip, gold roses spacer, bubbles spacer, snail, gold flat spacer, lotsa love, bubbles spacer, heart (pink cz), plain clip, crisscross spacer

Charms from second catalogue starting at top left:
silver DNA, heart (pink cz), rose leaf, ring, web, band, snail, moon (amethyst cz), snake, swirl dots, silver eye (garnet), silver cluster, mushroom, bevelled pearl dangle, row with dots, dice, blossom (amethyst cz), four-leaf clover, sun moon and stars, circles, lotsa love, plain clips

Second catalogue

Charms on bracelet starting at the clasp going clockwise:
moon (amethyst cz), smooth spacer, big smooth heart, birthstone dangle (amethyst - February), small roses spacer, ribbed clip, gold-tipped flower, gold bubbles spacer, love hope and faith, king's crown, small bubbles spacer, bear's head, web (diamond), plain clip, gold heart dangle, large bubbles spacer, gold roses spacer, crisscross spacer, gold star dangle, crisscross spacer, snake

Charms from second catalogue starting at top left:
ladybug, 8-ball, band (clear cz), birthstone dangle (peridot - August), heart (clear cz), circles (clear cz), strawberry, silver DNA, house, bear's head, moon (clear cz), turtle, moon (amethyst cz), sideways elephant, sideways fish, ribbed clip, blossom (clear cz), confetti, silver eye (peridot), zodiac sign (Scorpio), and big smooth heart

I also thought I'd try to replicate this bracelet in the photo above
(with a few substitutions)

Charms on my bracelet (above) starting at the clasp going clockwise:
moon (clear cz), smooth spacer, big smooth heart, birthstone dangle (coral), small roses spacer, ribbed clip, gold-tipped flower, big bubbles spacer, faith hope and charity, mushroom, bear head (Winnie-the-Pooh), web, gold flower clip, birthstone dangle (chrysophase), big bubbles spacer, big roses spacer, crisscross spacer, turtle

Second catalogue

Charms from second catalogue starting at top left:

gold flower clip, ring cluster, gold smooth spacer, gold cross dangle, gold bubbles spacer

gold big roses spacer, gold heart dangle, web (diamond), gold star dangle, gold-tipped flower, waves and dots, gold cluster, gold graduation cap dangle, apple with worm, gold flat spacer, gold big smooth heart, king's crown, and gold quilt pattern

First sample bracelet with First Fifteen and Classics

Charms on my bracelet (above) starting at the clasp going clockwise:
ribbed clip, DNA, mushroom, snail, faith hope and charity, gold-tipped flower, big smooth heart, ladybug, confetti, circles (clear cz), row with dots, strawberry, heart (clear cz), gold-tipped flower, sun moon and stars, sideways fish, dice, peridot eye, and gold flower clip

Second sample bracelet with First Fifteen and Classics

Charms on my bracelet (above) starting at the clasp going clockwise:
ribbed clip, web, ring, 8-ball, blossom, Zodiac sign (Scorpio), gold-tipped flower, starburst clip, waves and dots, snail, rose leaf, strawberry, ring cluster, starburst clip, gold-tipped flower, clover, dice, spple, band, large roses spacer, gold flower clip

My Predictions for the 20th Anniversary Classics

My predictions

In trying to predict which "classic" charms would be used as the 20th Anniversary series, I looked at the "First Fifteen" charms and the earliest "Classic Pandora." I considered which were likely to be popular charms that people would buy for themselves or buy as gifts. And I also thought about which charms Pandora would be able to engrave without making significant changes to the charm, ruling out those with too much pattern or depth, the ones that had stones, and the highly oxidized.

So I'm predicting that eight of these ten charms will be included, starting from the left: ladybug, turtle, big smooth heart, suitcase, snail, sideways fish, cupcake, apple with the worm, everlasting love, and the silver rose. My apple is not the one with the worm, but I thought I'd include it for the photo. And I suspect they will also include the king's crown, because it was engraved as a gift for passengers on one of the Pandora cruises, but I don't have the charm to include in my photo.

I took my photos in February and it looks like one of my predictions was correct: the big smooth heart for April.

Final Request:

Please tell me which charms you would like to hear about or what topics you want to read about. You can leave comments below or you can email me at shift.training@gmail.com Stay tuned for monthly blog posts.

Related Posts

How many balls are you juggling? - a story about how it feels to be juggling so much in your life, you feel that if someone throws you one more ball they may all come tumbling down around you. Seems like a timely topic when some people are suddenly working from home, teachers are thrust into online teaching, and parents have their kids at home while we all practice social/physical distancing. Read about the "waves and dots" charm and why I'm talking about "The Cat in the Hat."

Advice on managing anxiety - from a turtle! - a story about my very first charm, on the very first day of my recovery from an eating disorder, and one of the most important reminders when I'm in fight-or-flight mode and tempted to binge. I share one of the most effective ways to slow down racing or anxious thoughts.

The turtle part 2: advice for anxious parents - a story about how heart-breaking it is when you see your children struggle, with strategies we used for helping our son with intense emotions like anger and anxiety.  You can also read one of the best pieces of advice I've come across for anxious parents - from a turtle!

Prescription for panic: ice, ice baby - a story about how to calm a body revved by stress, how to understand what's going on in your body when you're angry or anxious, and how to rescue yourself from a panic attack.

Pandora bras and butts, oh my! - a story about bare butts, titties and studs, and the charm that reminds me not to take life too seriously. I hope this story won't ruin the meaning you assign to the April charm, the engraved big smooth (or "puffy") heart.

Moving from self-criticism to self-acceptance - inspired by a simple silver rose - a story about negative self-talk, how to stop criticizing ourselves and how to be at peace with wherever we are at the moment, inspired by the rose charm (one of my predictions for the Twelve in 2020)

Will he always love me? My explanation of panic attacks - a story about what triggers panic attacks for me, the therapy that helped, and the reason for the Everlasting Love charm (another of my predictions for the Twelve in 2020)

Photo Gallery

This was my first bracelet called my Lucerne Recovery bracelet. The name references the Lucerne dangle and Lucerne clips. On this bracelet you can find the rows and dots, sun moon and stars, candy cane spacer, crisscross spacer, web, birthstone dangle, and faith, hope and charity/love.

My Sacred Woods bracelet is home to the peridot eye charm (on the right). On this bracelet you may notice one of the original "mini" spacers called the "ridged" spacer, right beside the clasp. Often an openwork charm will be large enough to slide over the threads and get tangled with the clasp. One of these mini spacers prevents that from happening. I've done the same in the Lucerne bracelet above.

The Sparkle and Shine bracelet is a collection of retired charms with clear cubic zirconion. On either side of the centre dangle you can find the band, circles, blossom and heart with cz .

band, circles, blossom, heart

This bracelet, my mother and son bracelet, contains the turtle and the sideways fish.

This bracelet is all classic/vintage two-tone charms, many of them with diamonds. You can see the gold-tipped flower spacer on either side of the central vintage heart dangle.

I love the gold-tipped flower spacers so much that they are one of the few charms I have repeats. You can see them on this two-tone Serenity bracelet on either side of the central Serenity dangle. In the central section of this bracelet you can also see the two-tone apple and two-tone cupcake, two of the charms I predict will be in the Twelve for 2020.

This bracelet is a chronology of my late mother's life. You can see the confetti charm beside the centre dangle, representing the confetti at my parent's wedding. There is also the DNA charm and the suitcase charm on the left.

This is my True Colours bracelet which has the ribbed clip at the end and then the silver charms, snail, ladybug, clover, dice, strawberry, mushroom, and then right by the clasp a smooth spacer. 

This Treasured Hearts bracelet, named for the central "treasured hearts" charm, contains the 8-ball charm. When designing this I found that the hidden romance charms seemed to cover part of the central heart-shaped charm so I placed a smooth spacer on either side to give it more, well, space.

How I smashed my face and my finger - and found love

A fall and a trip to the Emergency Room made me realize something significant about my kids; something that I was surprised that I didn't know already. Let me tell you how I got injured and then tell you how I came to this realization - and shocked my kids with my announcement.

My Pandora Rose Essence bracelet

Shortly after moving to a new home in August (yes I have lots of news that I need to catch you up on), I had an accidental fall. We now live in a condo, a series of row houses, attached to our neighbours on both sides. We have a small back yard that is mostly filled by a deck and the rest of the property is shared space and cared for by the condo corporation. Because we had just moved, we had some plants that we had dug up and brought to our new place. Unfortunately we left those plants in the common space beyond our deck. One morning I heard the sounds of lawn mowers and had a moment of panic, thinking they were going to drive their mowers right over our plants. So I rushed out the back door. The steps leading from our deck down to ground level had been removed temporarily while we were doing some gardening. When I rushed outside to save my plants I took a big step down and subsequently did a face plant.

Our backyard deck (photo from previous tenants)
Stairs on the left going down to the flagstone path

When I stepped down off the desk I lost my balance. I think the flagstones were wobbly. I immediately fell forward, landed on my knees first and continued falling forward until I slammed my face into the solid wood fence. I crushed my glasses into my face, cutting the edge of my eye and bending the arm of the glasses at a 90 degree angle. I seemed to have banged my baby finger straight into the wall, probably in attempt to stop, or at least slow down, the imminent collision - which must have been a hard impact given the forward momentum of my 300+ pounds.

The overgrown flagstone path and the wooden fence (on the left)

The stairs on the grass waiting to be repositioned

Where the stairs used to be

The flagstone path under construction
- definitely wobbly

Still focused on my rescue mission, I pulled myself to my feet - not an easy task when you are as heavy as me - and ran over to grab the plants and put them on the deck. Then I realized that my finger was bent at an unusual angle. And I couldn't straighten it. Correction: I couldn't actively straighten my finger. If I used my other hand I could passively straighten it but boy did that hurt! And every time I moved my hand, the finger would snap back into the bent position - and that hurt even more!

My baby finger wanted to stay bent at this angle

My husband Mike and our then 16-year-old son Mitchell were both at work that morning, but my daughter Taylor (Mitchell's twin sister) was home. When I came inside I called for her to come help me. My face and my finger were bleeding so I was cleaning myself up in the powder room when she came and found me. I had also injured my knee in the fall and wrenched my back. My back was going into spasms and all I really wanted to do was climb into bed. Taylor bandaged my finger (it was bleeding from being scraped on the wooden fence), and she told me I needed to go to the hospital.

I was reluctant to go to the hospital. I  just wanted to crawl into a dark corner - or my bed - and lick my wounds, figuratively of course. But Taylor appeared very concerned about me and said I probably needed x-rays. I was surprised that she was so concerned. I'd never seen her like that. So I gave in, and Taylor called my husband Mike who came home from work and took me to the Emergency Room.

My face after I smashed it into the fence

At the hospital, the doctors were more concerned about my head than they were my finger. I take Warfarin, a blood thinner, because I have an autoimmune condition called antiphospholipid syndrome. As I mentioned in a previous post (Bellies and babies and "girlie parts") I'm at risk for blood clots (both venous and arterial) and will be on the blood thinners for the rest of my life. It hadn't occurred to me that hitting my head could mean bleeding on the brain, something you apparently don't want when you are on blood thinners. So there were x-rays and an MRI, of my finger and my head, and everything was fine - no fractures, no brain bleed.

During my long wait in the ER Taylor kept texting me asking how I was so I sent her updates. I couldn't understand why she was so worried.

Mike left me at the hospital while he went to pick up Mitchell after work. We had a brief visit at the hospital and then Mike took him home. I didn't see Mitchell that night or before he left for work the next morning. As soon as he came home from work, Mitchell immediately came upstairs to check on me. He wanted an update. He asked about my back. He was clearly worried. And I was genuinely puzzled by his reaction. What did all this mean?

To finish the saga of my accident, I will tell you that my head is fine (well, there's no fracture or bleeding anyways), but my finger is not. It's still crooked and messed up. I have what's called "Boutonniere's deformity" from a torn ligament and I'm seeing a plastic surgeon in December. Plastic surgeons (rather than orthopaedic surgeons) do all the delicate work required for hands and fingers.

Over the next few weeks I pondered how my kids reacted to my accident and my injuries. And I found myself saying, "I guess they love me."

You might be surprised to hear that. I know that I was surprised to hear myself say that! And what it came down to, what I realized, was that I had not actually known that before - truly believed it. So I was now thinking, "They were concerned about me. They were worried about me. They care about me. Huh. I guess they love me."

One night in October, while we were all sitting at the dinner table, I made a little announcement. I told the kids this story, of how their concern and caring after my accident made me realize they love me. They were shocked! They said, "Of course we love you!" They were quite put out, frankly. Insulted even. Their responses were along the lines of "Why would you think that we didn't love you?"

That stopped me in my tracks. "Why?" The only answer that I could give them at the time was, "I guess when you have depression you don't think anyone loves you." But I don't know if that's true; if other people with depression have this problem.

So over the next few weeks I pondered some more. I certainly have times that would make anyone question whether their teenager loves them: when they are annoyed with me, irritated by me, impatient with me, and complain about me - or tease me. As frustrating as that can be, that wasn't quite the full story. That's not the real reason I didn't know that my kids love me. The real reason wasn't about them. It was about me. I didn't think I was lovable. And that is what we call a "core belief."

For my birthday I asked for  some Pandora Rose Essence charms
to go with my Luminous Rose bracelet

Having been through schema-focused therapy a few years ago, I recognized that I had just identified a schema or "lifetrap." These schemas or core beliefs are formed in our childhood and reinforced throughout our lives. They impact how we think, how we feel and how we act, especially in relation to others - they impact our every day. This is what happens with core beliefs. They are so fundamental that you don't even realize you have them, until something happens that contradicts those beliefs. Like your kids worrying about you. Loving you.

I did not know that I had the core belief that I am somehow defective and "I am unlovable." I mean it makes sense. It helps explain some of the anxiety about being judged, the self-criticism, the eating disorder, the depression. I didn't know that people could love me.

It's like believing in Santa Claus. When you're a kid you believe with all your heart that Santa is a real thing. You pay attention to clues that reinforce that belief and you ignore any evidence that might dissuade you. And then over time, or all-of-a-sudden, you know, you just know, that there is no Santa. And it makes you wonder how you could have possibly believed that Santa was real. And you'll never ever go back to believing that Santa is real.

I'm sure that I ignored lots of evidence that people love me. But this new evidence, seeing my kids' behaviours, changed my belief. I have come to feel that it is possible to be loved. That someone else could feel love for me. That I am someone that another could love. That I am worthy of their love. That I am, in fact, lovable.

So I started wearing this Mother's Day bangle every day (along with the two-toned "Opposites Attract" ring I now wear as my wedding ring). The bangle is engraved with a very simple message: "You are so loved." I'm trying to take this in. Trying to absorb it. Trying to let it become part of my reality.

On my 54th birthday, on November 1, my husband gave me this Pandora Rose Essence charm. It was to remind me of this time, this occurrence, when I finally realized that my family loves me. Apparently that is how it's supposed to work in normal, happy and healthy families. Even if we're not related to someone, it is our love for each other that makes us a family. Like the charm says "Love Makes a Family."

Now, if you're wondering what people, events and circumstances led me to believe that I was unlovable, you'll have to wait. It's going to take a little more pondering before I write that story.

I watched this video recently. It's about a guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge - and survived. He talks about the mental health challenges he was experiencing at the time. And this one statement really spoke to me:

"I thought I was a burden to everyone who loved me. Because that's what my brain told me, because that's how powerful your brain is."

I hope I'm like those kids who never go back to believing in Santa. I hope I never go back to believing that I'm a burden to my family, or that I am unlovable. But depression is an illness and the brain is a powerful thing. My brain might try to tell me that nobody loves me. But now I have the tools to battle this, I have these stories on my blog, and I have this charm to remind me that I am not alone and I am loved.

Essence charms from the top: Dignity, Happiness, Happiness
and "Love makes a family"

My Thoughts on the Essence "Love makes a family":

I have collected Pandora Essence charms since they first came out and I love the different traits they portray - courage, belief, compassion etc. but I do wish that Pandora would stop repeating the same values and would consider adding new qualities like acceptance, commitment, inspiration... I could go on. Having a phrase rather than one word engraved was a departure for Pandora. But I really like how shiny the charm is, I like the design, and of course I like the message.

As much as I like the Pandora Rose and the few gold charms I have, I find it hard to see the patterns on the charms; it's more visible on silver charms when there's oxidation. So I thought of another way to show you the charming pattern on the Pandora Rose "Love Makes a Family" bead. I rolled it in Play-Doh.

You can see that it is a pattern of trunks, branches and leaves - but I think there's also roots on there. It reminds me of this quote: "Like branches on a tree, we all grow in different directions, but our roots keep us all together." That seems an appropriate affirmation as my kids complete university admission forms and prepare to leave home next fall. Not only does love make us a family but love will keep us together. I feel a song coming on...

 

My Pandora Rose Essence bracelet, my bangle with the Rose clasp, and my
soft pink Luminous Rose bracelet with pearls, mother of pearl and moonstone

Related Posts:

When your brain and body scream 911 - a story about my introduction to the idea of "wise mind"  and the "threat system," and the reason for intense emotions. You'll also see an overview of the types of therapy that have made a huge difference for my mental health and the charm that represents my asking for help.

Will he always love me? My explanation of panic attacks - a story about the origins of schema-focused therapy. A rather long post but my explanation of panic attacks and the charm that helps.

Two birthdays and three babies that narrowly escaped being born on Halloween - my own birth story and a story about choosing the birthday of our twins and the charm that represents it.

Do I really deserve to be happy and healthy? - a story about feeling undeserving and unworthy and my first steps to changing that and a charm to help remind me.

Moving from self criticism to self acceptance - a story about accepting ourselves at every stage in our development and the simple silver charm that represents it.