A Few Charms (Banner)

A Few Charms (Banner)

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Keeping gratitude in my heart

My husband annoys me. His sneezes are way too loud. He forgets to tell me things. He is ALWAYS bringing home the wrong thing from the grocery store because he NEVER reads the details on a package. He has NEVER wiped off the kitchen counter.

Well, I could go on and I'm sure many of you could do the same. First clue here is, when you are saying "never" and "always", especially in capital letters, nothing good can come of it! So I don't want to spend too much time thinking about the things that frustrate me - or drive me crazy! Because, as the expression goes, "what you attend to, grows." There are big things and there are little things, many of them not-so-endearing. But none of them deal-breakers. So I will focus on - attend to - the positives, and not the negatives.

My coach recommended I keep a Gratitude Journal - and every day write down three reasons I am grateful for Mike. I've been writing in a Gratitude Journal for years, but this one is just about him.

I was given this notebook by a friend for Valentine's Day. She is very talented with this artwork but I don't know what it's called. I couldn't think at first what I would use the notebook for. It needed a special job, cause it was from a special lady. 

Then I remembered one day, that some of us were complaining about our husbands - current and ex. We had all made compromises in our relationships, some bigger than others. And some chose to leave their spouses, others to stay. I realized that I am lucky that there were not BIG issues that I have had to forgive. So, in honour of these other wives, I realized that this is the perfect notebook for my "Grateful for that Guy" journal. 

When we went away for a week as a family in March I wrote in the journal every day. I needed to! We spent a lot of time together! And I have written in it about twenty times in the last few months. It helps me remember that there are little things he does that make me love him, but there are big things too.
Here's a sampling of the things I wrote down, the reasons why I am "Grateful for that Guy":

Some little things:
Today I am Grateful that...
- Mike shares his love of The Simpsons with the kids
- Mike enjoys listening to CBC radio with the kids
- Mike will rub my sore tired feet
- Mike makes a mean pasta
- Mike suggested Dairy Queen
- Mike drives me to the college and we have time to chat

Some bigger things:
- Mike loves me despite my weaknesses
- Mike always has really good insight about the kids, especially the other introvert in the family
- Mike is working with a coach; it shows his willingness to work to improve things and his commitment to himself and our family
- Mike is able to tell me when he's had a bad day
- Mike asks if there is anything he can do before he leaves for work
- Mike coached Mitchell's basketball team and had such positive feedback from the parents, including his decision to not leave his best players on during the overtime of the bronze medal match and to follow the rules of "fair play."
- Mike thinks "it's probably best" if I spend the measly $1000 or so I make a year on Pandora

The Treasured Heart charm on my Treasured Hearts bracelet reminds me of this important affirmation, "I am Grateful for that Guy!" And I treasure his heart.

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